I'm sorry, but I'm really not

Some of you might be wondering wny I haven't written anything. The reason for that is that it's finals week and I've been busy the past couple weeks with job interviews and the dealing with the prospect of not bineg able to stay up till 2 AM every night with my friends drinking. It's a sobering realization. Anyways, I'll be back on here soon.

I'm not sexist, it's just not fun to watch

Usually I try not to get too involved with stuff that stays from the territory of college football when I'm writing these entries. But surfing around over on Sports Illustrated's website, I came across an article by Aditi Kinkhabwala about how women's athletics doesn't need sex to sell the sports, they need female athletes who "transcend the sex appeal" and make people WANT to watch. She may be right about the sex thing....I thought Anna Kournikova was great, but I was never going to go out of my way and watch a womens tennis match just to see her. But at the same time, I think Kinkhabwala is missing the main point: the reason that nobody wants to watch female sports is because there is a better alternative: their male counterparts. Nobody wants to watch a woman play a sport when on a different channel there is a superior athlete doing it better.

The best example of this is evident in the NBA and it's sister league, the WNBA. I still get a little pissed off when I'm forced to sit through "highlights" that show fast-breaks punctuated by sweet layups, or when they throw an alley-oop pass that isn't ooped because only two people in the league can even get the ball over the rim. If you want a great article to read about this, I suggest you check out Bill Simmons' article about it over on ESPN. It's still one of my favorite reads, and he sums up the stupidity of the WNBA very well:

"I have no business criticizing someone else's hobbies. We all have dopey things we enjoy. Maybe I like playing video games with the Patriots and pretending I run the team. Maybe you enjoy watching women playing basketball at the highest possible level -- a level that could roughly be compared to "a good intramural game at a Division 2 college, only if nobody could jump or dunk" -- and find the WNBA strangely intoxicating."

The thing is, this isn't restricted to basketball. It's the easiest example because it is repeatedly forced down our throat by the NBA, which keeps hemorrhaging money to keep this charade (as Simmons correctly calls it) alive. It's across the board. Say that you have a son and daughter, the son plays baseball, the daughter softball. Let's go on to say that they have a game the same day, at the same time. Who's game do you attend? Don't feel bad if you thought of your son first. It's human nature. Why? Because nobody wants to watch slower, less athletic people do anything when there is a better product elsewhere. And that's not to say that women shouldn't play sports, or that they shouldn't be provided every opportunity a male gets. But every time someone bitches and moans about the lack of attention female athletics gets, it drives me nuts.

What I'm getting at is that this female athlete who transcends sex appeal, the one that Kinkhabwala talks about in her article? She doesn't exist. There isn't one female athlete dominant enough that I will make it a point to watch her. Until one steps up and plays (well) in a male professional league, I am going to continue to change the channel to something else. Kinkhabwala is right, sex doesn't always sell, and it's not going to influence me to watch an inferior product. Unfortunately for womens athletics, I'm the norm, not the exception.

When news is slow, it's time for a list........

Considering few details have been released from Mo's incident at the Alley Bar, and the fact that there is nearly nothing else going on in the world of college football, I'm going to fall back on one of the staples of a blogger with nothing to do, a top 10 list. Some people don't like lists, which is understandable, because they are at best a substitute for creative, original writing. Those people, in my opinion, don't realize how difficult it is to come up with stuff to write about when there is nearly nothing to write about. With the exception of discipline issues and summer conditioning, there won't be much going on the next couple months. Which is why I'm going to debut my first top 10 list. While there are a few topics that I want to make lists on (top 10 Husker games, top 10 Husker players, etc.), those seem just a bit too generic and uninspiring right now. So in honor of Georgia QB Matt Stafford (pictured at right), who made some ripples in college football news recently when pictures of him with a keg and some cuties surfaced, my first list is going to be the Top 10 college football players I would most want to get hammered with.

The rules:
1) He has to have played in the past 10 seasons. It's not allowed to go back to mid-1980's squads and say you'd drink with those rowdy Oklahoma teams.......oh wait, they did coke? Nevermind.....but the rule still stands
2) It can be any team from any conference, this is not limited to Nebraska guys (although they will most likely get preferential treatment).

And with that said, we go to the countdown......

Number 10: Bo Ruud, OLB, Nebraska
While some of you may be scratching your heads, Ruud strikes me as the type who you'd never know would be the life of the party, but at about 1 in the morning, you realize that there are 7 hot women congregating around him. He may seem shy, but when you look at the pictures of him from Halloween in Husker volleyball apparel (spandex shorts included), you realize that once this guy gets a few beers in him and comes out of his shell, he's fucking hilarious.

Number 9: Sebastian Janikowski, K, FSU
Really? A kicker? I understand your initial shock, but you have to take into account that one of my best friends and roommates is a college kicker, so I don't hold the same stigma that others might. Plus, he still lives on in FSU lore for being hammered and out past curfew before the National Title game against Va Tech in the Sugar Bowl. Since then, he has had several arrests for drunk and disorderly conduct and DUIs, among other things. As long as he's not carrying any date rape drugs, I wouldn't mind hitting Mardi Gras with him.


Number 8: Larry Johnson, RB, Penn State
We all know that LJ has a problem with white people, so some of you might be wondering why I'd want to get hammered with him. My answer? He knows how to get the ladies. That, and as Dave Chappelle points out in his stand-up, every group of black guys needs one white guy. Why? Cause somebody is gonna need to talk to the police.

Number 7: Kyle Boller, QB, Cal
I had my doubts about his abilities, until I took into account the fact that he dated Tara Reid back before she turned into a 260-pound trainwreck, which was major bonus points. Plus, I figured there'd be a lot to talk about over beers, the main topic being how incredibly awesome Tedford-coached QBs are in the pros. This picture was most likely taken after the Ravens drafted him. He's obviously in euphoria that someone was dumb enough to take another Akili Smith. It's understandable that someone took him in the first round, after all, he could throw it between the uprights from the 50 when he was on his knees. Boller still owes Mel Kiper for the endorsements.

Number 6: Matt Leinart, QB, USC
The ultimate pretty boy took advantage of being the part of the best football show in a city that desperately wanted one. He essentially had the fame of a pro QB years before he graduated college, another advantage of playing in LA. While he has been more reserved since becoming a pro as well as a father, Leinart was well known for partying with his share of celebrities, and who knows how many groupies were attatched to his hip on a nightly basis? My biggest concern about hanging out with him would be catching a venereal disease by sharing the same airspace as him. I realize the chances of that are slim, but you never know when a guy has been with uber-whore Paris Hilton. Nasty.


Number 5: Matt Roth, DE, Iowa (currently with Dolphins)
Roth is someone I was somewhat unfamiliar with until my buddy Reinks clued me in to his legends. Reinks grew up a couple towns away from Roth in Illinois, and people still talk about Roth's high school homecoming dance, where he was denied entrance for being too drunk. His solution? Throw the Athletic Director into the trophy case. While I'm not a big fan of drunken violence, I thought that went above and beyond the qualifications for this list. Also, urban legend has it that while attending Iowa, he challenged an entire bar to a fight, which led to said bar clearing out. Fun stuff.

Number 4: Eli Manning, QB, Ole Miss
The guy is a huge dork. But therein lies the appeal. Women would flock to him because he's a pro athlete, but then they'd realize he has less game with women than he does on the football field (which isn't a lot either). And that means that his buddies are in like Flynt.

Number 3: Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Miami of Ohio
Big Ben's partying in college flew somewhat under the radar due to the fact he played for the Redhawks, but don't let that stop you from recognizing that the guy knows how to have a good time. As evidenced by the link I've provided, Roethlisberger does indeed know how to drink like a champion.

Number 2: Corey McKeon, ILB, Nebraska
McKeon has developed a reputation as one of the biggest partiers on the team, which he has mentioned before. If you guys could see his facebook pictures, you'd understand. The guy knows how to have a hell of a time and always seems to be the life of the party. My only concern? Most of his pictures make him look like a frat guy douche. He has his hair spiked, collar popped, and we all know about his confident (cocky?) attitude. I've wondered that if I were to party with him, would he be fun or one of the jackasses who wore on my nerves as the night went on? I'm hoping the former. The guy is one of my favorite players, so favoritism plus his rep goes a long way in explaining his lofty ranking on the list.

Number 1: Kyle Orton, QB, Purdue
'Nuff said. Well, almost 'nuff said......I think the best thing about this pic is that it was taken AT Iowa. He wasn't even getting hammered on his Alma mater's home turf.

And that is my initial Top 10 list of former college footballers who I'd want to get hammered with most. As the next season progresses, there may be a few additions or subtractions, but this is a decent start. Even with all the abilities I have with the internet, I'm sure there are a few omissions that warrant mentioning, so feel free to comment on any you think that deserve to be on the list.

Say it ain't so, Mo

Why? That's the word that is being asked throughout the state of Nebraska today as reports are leaking out that Maurice Purify, NU's best receiver, was arrested last night in Lincoln. The charges are hardly ones that can be shrugged off as no big deal: Two counts of assault, with resisting arrest tacked onto it, are serious allegations and will no doubt be treated as such by Callahan and the coaching staff. I'm sure we'll find out more about this disturbance as time passes, but for now the only thing that Husker fans want to know is why would a talented young man, one who by all accounts is extremely friendly and polite, do something like this?

Why jeopardize not only your spot on the Husker football team, but millions of dollars in potential pro football income? Especially over something as petty as a bouncer not letting your friend into a bar the previous week! It'd be one thing if Purify had only hit the guy, or if he had gotten in a bar fight trying to stick up for his buddies, but judging by the reports thus far, Mo instigated the fight, and then took it to another level when he decided to pull an Ike Turner and hit a female. Never under any circumstances should a man ever hit a woman, but to do it in Lincoln, where the ghost of Lawrence Phillips' transgressions still haunts the Husker image, only exacerbated the problem.

If this had happened in New York, or LA, or any other giant metro area with multiple sports teams and pro events, this wouldn't even be that big of a deal. But being in a fishbowl is something that comes with the territory of being a Husker football player, so this is going to be front-page news for every paper in the state. Like it or not, these guys have to be aware that every transgression, no matter how small or seemingly inconsequential, is going to be magnified 10-fold. What would be standard college bar-type stuff (two guys fighting) is completely different when one of the participants is a star player on the state's favorite team. Understand that in no way, shape, or form am I condoning Purify's actions. To assault two people is a serious crime, and what will be debated in the coming weeks (and months?) is what the punishment should be for the offense.

Some argue that striking a female is more than ample reason for his expulsion from the team. I am not one of those people. While I am angry and disappointed that he would disgrace himself, his team, and to an extent an entire state, I do not believe taking away the most important thing in his life (football) for a lapse in judgement would be the right thing to do. Although Callahan has a reputation for not putting up with off-the-field issues, compassion and forgiveness would go a long way when dealing with Purify's situation. And I'm not saying that because he is a key player in our pursuit of a national title, I'd say the same thing for the 4th string punter. To ostracize Purify from the team would be the worst thing that Callahan could do. Thus far, Callahan is doing the right thing and taking a wait-and-see approach. First the legal system has to decide what it's punishment will be, and BC will make his decision after all the facts have been presented (something that is crucial, because at this point it is a lot of speculation about what exactly happened, and jumping to conclusions is the last thing that everyone should do).

My suggestion? A four-game suspension, apologies to the victims, and some community service (depending on what the legal system gives him first). By sitting him for the non-conference slate, including the pivotal USC game, it shows the message that we are not a win-at-all-costs program and that the staff takes player conduct seriously. At the same time, it teaches Purify a lesson about his actions and forces him to re-evaluate just how much of a privilege it is to play for and attend the University of Nebraska.

Sooooo........what now?

And I thought it was depressing when spring ball got over.........now that there's no NFL draft, we officially have nothing to look forward to until fall camp starts up....that is, unless you count the AFL....(yea, I don't either).......I didn't feel like posting a pic of a player, and I was daydreaming about the great times I've had tailgating.....so I decided to put one up from last season at ISU.........I'm the one on the left, for those of you who were curious as to what stud was writing this.

I figured I'll just pass on a few links for today.......here is an article from the Omaha World Herald talking about the talent we have that has Gil Brandt weighing in with this thoughts on the subject.......I'm eventually going to write a whole entry on this topic, but to be honest I don't have the motivation to do that now.

Adam Caparell of CSTV.com weighs in with his post-spring Top 25, in which he has the Huskers ranked 20th. This comes on the heels of Stewart Mandel of Sports Illustrated ranking us 18th. I think this is going to be the norm heading into next season for the Huskers. Sure, we won the North last year, but we didn't beat anybody of note and people are going to be very skeptical of giving us any publicity until the USC game. If we lose that, don't be surprised to see us drop out of the top 25 right away. The recent announcement that the tilt with the Trojans is going to be at 7 p.m. was fantastic news, as it assures us a national spotlight (although it was pretty much a sure thing) and gives our fans more time to imbibe beforehand. Now, I realize that people get worried in situations like this due to the fact that students might forget their Husker manners when they are hammered, but I'm confident we will still be extremely gracious hosts. I think the more drunk a fanbase is, the louder it is during the game. I hope this is the case come September 15th.

For those of you who haven't checked out Double Extra Point recently, they had an Eric Crouch update. Apparently, he's up in Canada, where he's the second string QB for the Toronto Argonauts. It's good to hear that he's competing somewhere, as it's such a waste for him to be doing sports programs for Omaha news stations and other things of that nature. The starter for Toronto, as the article notes, is a 43 years old, so who knows, we may see Crouch playing like it's 1999..........is it bad that I am considering buying his jersey?

In an article by Tim Griffin over on ESPN.com, the litany of QB battles in the Big 12 is discussed. With half the teams in the conference dealing with some sort of QB controversy, there is a lot of uncertainty going into next season, and it'll be interesting to see who will be getting the nod for the season opener at each of the schools. The biggest surprise is the struggles of Josh Freeman at KSU. Although I do expect him to be the starter when it's all said and done, he was thoroughly outperformed by Carson Coffman in the spring game (as Griffin points out). All these competitions will make the opening of fall camp interesting to watch as we see what plays out across the conference.

In another ESPN article, we see that the Big East Kool-Aid is becoming more and more popular. While the play of this conference has been surprising, one should point that, like the Big 10, there is a big dropoff after the top 3 (top 4 if you count South Florida, who is an up-and-comer but one that could see a drop-off because they can't sneak up on anyone anymore). The top three (Louisville, Rutgers, West Virginia) all finished high in the rankings last year, but I think you gotta look at who they played outside their own conference to determine how good they really are. Rutger's non-conference slate from last year: North Carolina (who was starting Dailey at the time), Big 10 doormat Illinois, Ohio, HOWARD, Navy, and K-State in the bowl game. Not exactly a daunting set of teams if one looks at their combined record (35-40). Louisville had what looks like decent wins over K-State, Miami, and Wake Forest until you consider that K-State and Miami were both 7-6 and WF won their conference by default because the supposed powerhouses of the ACC were all horrible. The only one I like to give a lot of credit to is West Virginia, who can run on absolutely anybody (and it's only going to get worse now that Noel Devine passed his ACTs). Basically, what I'm getting at is that the Big East's bad teams are so bad that it's hard to take their good teams seriously.

And just for fun before I sign off, here's a clip of Bruce Willis hammered at a Nets playoff game: