Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Considering few details have been released from Mo's incident at the Alley Bar, and the fact that there is nearly nothing else going on in the world of college football, I'm going to fall back on one of the staples of a blogger with nothing to do, a top 10 list. Some people don't like lists, which is understandable, because they are at best a substitute for creative, original writing. Those people, in my opinion, don't realize how difficult it is to come up with stuff to write about when there is nearly nothing to write about. With the exception of discipline issues and summer conditioning, there won't be much going on the next couple months. Which is why I'm going to debut my first top 10 list. While there are a few topics that I want to make lists on (top 10 Husker games, top 10 Husker players, etc.), those seem just a bit too generic and uninspiring right now. So in honor of Georgia QB Matt Stafford (pictured at right), who made some ripples in college football news recently when pictures of him with a keg and some cuties surfaced, my first list is going to be the Top 10 college football players I would most want to get hammered with.
1) He has to have played in the past 10 seasons. It's not allowed to go back to mid-1980's squads and say you'd drink with those rowdy Oklahoma teams.......oh wait, they did coke? Nevermind.....but the rule still stands
2) It can be any team from any conference, this is not limited to Nebraska guys (although they will most likely get preferential treatment).
And with that said, we go to the countdown......
Number 10: Bo Ruud, OLB, Nebraska
While some of you may be scratching your heads, Ruud strikes me as the type who you'd never know would be the life of the party, but at about 1 in the morning, you realize that there are 7 hot women congregating around him. He may seem shy, but when you look at the pictures of him from Halloween in Husker volleyball apparel (spandex shorts included), you realize that once this guy gets a few beers in him and comes out of his shell, he's fucking hilarious.
Number 9: Sebastian Janikowski, K, FSU
Really? A kicker? I understand your initial shock, but you have to take into account that one of my best friends and roommates is a college kicker, so I don't hold the same stigma that others might. Plus, he still lives on in FSU lore for being hammered and out past curfew before the National Title game against Va Tech in the Sugar Bowl. Since then, he has had several arrests for drunk and disorderly conduct and DUIs, among other things. As long as he's not carrying any date rape drugs, I wouldn't mind hitting Mardi Gras with him.
Number 8: Larry Johnson, RB, Penn State
We all know that LJ has a problem with white people, so some of you might be wondering why I'd want to get hammered with him. My answer? He knows how to get the ladies. That, and as Dave Chappelle points out in his stand-up, every group of black guys needs one white guy. Why? Cause somebody is gonna need to talk to the police.
Number 7: Kyle Boller, QB, Cal
I had my doubts about his abilities, until I took into account the fact that he dated Tara Reid back before she turned into a 260-pound trainwreck, which was major bonus points. Plus, I figured there'd be a lot to talk about over beers, the main topic being how incredibly awesome Tedford-coached QBs are in the pros. This picture was most likely taken after the Ravens drafted him. He's obviously in euphoria that someone was dumb enough to take another Akili Smith. It's understandable that someone took him in the first round, after all, he could throw it between the uprights from the 50 when he was on his knees. Boller still owes Mel Kiper for the endorsements.
Number 6: Matt Leinart, QB, USC
The ultimate pretty boy took advantage of being the part of the best football show in a city that desperately wanted one. He essentially had the fame of a pro QB years before he graduated college, another advantage of playing in LA. While he has been more reserved since becoming a pro as well as a father, Leinart was well known for partying with his share of celebrities, and who knows how many groupies were attatched to his hip on a nightly basis? My biggest concern about hanging out with him would be catching a venereal disease by sharing the same airspace as him. I realize the chances of that are slim, but you never know when a guy has been with uber-whore Paris Hilton. Nasty.
Number 5: Matt Roth, DE, Iowa (currently with Dolphins)
Roth is someone I was somewhat unfamiliar with until my buddy Reinks clued me in to his legends. Reinks grew up a couple towns away from Roth in Illinois, and people still talk about Roth's high school homecoming dance, where he was denied entrance for being too drunk. His solution? Throw the Athletic Director into the trophy case. While I'm not a big fan of drunken violence, I thought that went above and beyond the qualifications for this list. Also, urban legend has it that while attending Iowa, he challenged an entire bar to a fight, which led to said bar clearing out. Fun stuff.
Number 4: Eli Manning, QB, Ole Miss
The guy is a huge dork. But therein lies the appeal. Women would flock to him because he's a pro athlete, but then they'd realize he has less game with women than he does on the football field (which isn't a lot either). And that means that his buddies are in like Flynt.
Number 3: Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Miami of Ohio
Big Ben's partying in college flew somewhat under the radar due to the fact he played for the Redhawks, but don't let that stop you from recognizing that the guy knows how to have a good time. As evidenced by the link I've provided, Roethlisberger does indeed know how to drink like a champion.
Number 2: Corey McKeon, ILB, Nebraska
McKeon has developed a reputation as one of the biggest partiers on the team, which he has mentioned before. If you guys could see his facebook pictures, you'd understand. The guy knows how to have a hell of a time and always seems to be the life of the party. My only concern? Most of his pictures make him look like a frat guy douche. He has his hair spiked, collar popped, and we all know about his confident (cocky?) attitude. I've wondered that if I were to party with him, would he be fun or one of the jackasses who wore on my nerves as the night went on? I'm hoping the former. The guy is one of my favorite players, so favoritism plus his rep goes a long way in explaining his lofty ranking on the list.
Number 1: Kyle Orton, QB, Purdue
'Nuff said. Well, almost 'nuff said......I think the best thing about this pic is that it was taken AT Iowa. He wasn't even getting hammered on his Alma mater's home turf.
And that is my initial Top 10 list of former college footballers who I'd want to get hammered with most. As the next season progresses, there may be a few additions or subtractions, but this is a decent start. Even with all the abilities I have with the internet, I'm sure there are a few omissions that warrant mentioning, so feel free to comment on any you think that deserve to be on the list.
Posted by Husker Guy at 10:43 AM