So I went to Transformers last night. Not an amazing movie, but a solid 2 hours of entertainment (the problem is that it goes 20 minutes too long and drags on, but hey, for six bucks I can't complain). But it got me thinking: If we were to look at current Husker players, what kind of Transformer would they be? What I mean by that is, what type of vehicle would they be before transforming into ass-kicking machines? Every player has a type of personality that would match up with a particular type of vehicle, so let us analyze one player from each position group and determine what vehicle they would be in disguise before shifting into decepticon ass-kicking mode.
Defensive Backs: Cortney Grixby, CB
Pre-Transformed car (PTC): Vespa
To be honest, I wanted to do Asante, only because he's seemingly more badass, but we dont know enough about him and haven't seen him in action outside of a scrimmage, so I decided to go with Grixby. So I thought about it a while, and what tiny vehicle seems to be sped by on a regular basis and constantly ridiculed? Obviously, its the Vespa. While I think Grixby will improve this year, his lack of size and speed made it way too easy for this comparison. And the urge to dropkick people on Vespas is just too strong to ignore.
Linebackers: Bo Ruud
PTC: Chevy Silverado 1500HD
Much like the Silverado, Ruud is the picture of reliability and strength, and while sometimes underrated has shown to be a dependable and long lasting cog in the Husker defense. While some claim he is overrated, I beg to differ. While I think he could stand to lose a couple tenths off his 40, he is always in the picture at the end of plays and he is a tireless worker. Plus, his size and workmanlike attitude overshadows his subtle knack for making plays. When you really think about it, cant you see Ruud buying a truck with his 1st NFL contract instead of a Benz? I'd like to think so.
D-Line: Ndamukong Suh
PTC: Hummer H1
I'm not talking about these pussy mass production vehicles that you see every guy with a midlife crisis driving, I'm talking about the Desert-Storm era fighting machines, the ones that only go 80 miles an hour but can go over and through just about anything. Suh, while raw, has a combination of power and speed that few people possess, much like the original ass-kicking Hummers.
O-Line: Lydon Murtha
PTC: V-22 Osprey
Why would I give Murtha a sweet vehicle like the U.S. Marines' Osprey? Because much like the Osprey, Murtha has been a question mark for years, an unproven product prone to malfunction. The Osprey is famous for it's multiple crashes and inability to live up to it's impressive design capacities. Murtha is known for being a physical specimen who has yet to live up to his abilities and publicity when he came in. Here's to hoping that Murtha follows the Osprey's now-error-free path to fulfilling his potential.
Wide Reciever: Mo Purify
PTC: Ford Crown Victoria
Why the Crown Vic? Because fit it with lights and a siren and Mo feels right at home. Aw c'mon, it had to be said.
Quarterback: Sam Keller
PTC: Ferrari 360 Spyder
Like the flasy Italian import, Keller grabs people's attention as well as the headlines. Keller oozes the west-coast cockiness and cool that the Ferrari necessitates, and his competitive streak would mesh well with a car whose top speed is north of 190 miles an hour. Plus, Keller looks like the type of guy who would feel at home in the 360, with some spiked up hair and a playboy model on his arm. A year from now we might actually see it (let's hope so, that'd mean he's a first or second round pick).
Running Backs: Cody Glenn
PTC: A Bulldozer
Do I even need to explain why this one makes sense?
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