Memorial Day Weekend Potpurri

Memorial day weekend is a special time of year for me. In addition to an important and overlooked holiday (more on that at the end), this weekend also is when all the men in my family pile into an RV and head for Indianapolis, where we take in the Indy 500 and all the drunken festivities that come with it. I'll be honest, the race is pretty damn boring. I mean, for all the hoopla, it's cars driving in circles. But you don't go for just the race, you go for the spectacle of it all, the pomp and circumstance, the EVENT. It's not a race, it's a three-day tailgate with 300,000 other people.

The highlight is Saturday night, when everyone has officially gotten into town and you take to the streets with your coolers of beer and let the night take you where it may. You see your fair share of not-in-their-prime boobs, and drink way more than your fair share of Coors Light, but maybe that's what makes the aforementioned breast-eses even passable. Either way, it makes for a great weekend trip, and it's one that I have failed to adequately capture on film during my previous 16 trips. That is something I plan on remedying this year, and I'll try my best to properly document the fun and post it on webshots so those of you who read the blog can look at them and get an idea of what I am talking about.

Some thoughts on various topics before I get out of here:

-Danica Patrick is not going to win the Indy 500. I even made a sign saying she can't, which I will bring to the race with me. Yea, she won the race in Japan, but that was mainly due to the fact that the three or four guys in front of her had to pit on the last 5 laps. I still don't think she can win a race of this magnitude, despite the media's infatuation with her. I'm not sexist, I just think it's unfair that the better drivers on the circuit don't get the respect they deserve. Of course, if she does win, I'll be showered in beer and food as I try to run out of the track with my anti-Danica sign........so for my sake, she HAS to lose.

- So when I was running the other day at the health club, NFL Live came on. At first, I was psyched......"Oh, good, there's going to be some football stuff on, that'll make this run tolerable at least"........but for the next half hour, all I got was analysis of Jason Taylor and Bill Parcells' relationship (which was supplemented by heavy doses of "highlights" of Taylor's run on Dancing with the Stars), followed by more Spygate news......which brings me to my next question: At what point do we just come to the conclusion that maybe we don't need an NFL show in May? If this is all they have to talk about, isn't it time to call it off until fall camp? I watch NFL Live to hear about actual news, not see some giant doing the tango while his relationship with the front office is discussed. Totally pointless, and unfortunately, NFL coverage is only going to become more and more saturated with crap like this. People have an insatiable appetite for any football news, but can't we agree that this doesn't qualify?

-I wish someone at the 'ol Alma Mater had sat me down and really explained to me just how utterly useless a history degree is. I mean, I knew it wasn't the most attractive BA, but I had no idea that it literally had no applicable use in the work force....unless of course, you want to sell insurance.....to be completely honest, I'd like to wipe my ass with it and mail it back to them. So I am presently looking at either grad school or an officer program with the Marines....if anybody has any suggestions, feel free to let me know.

- You know what is one of my favorite parts of the spring and summer in the Midwest? The annual tradition of the DOT blocking off entire roads...........and then not doing anything to them. It's especially fun when they funnel it down to one lane, and then you look at all those closed-down lanes with absolutely no construction being done. Right now, in my own neighborhood, they've completely gutted nearly ever road, only to leave them that way. I don't mind driving on gravel, but it's especially frustrating when I have to follow all these city folk who drive about 5 miles an hour because they don't want the rocks to scratch their 1992 Dodge Stratus.

- Listening to the radio all day, I am often subjected to some really crap-tastic fare that today's youth considers music. Lately it has become somewhat of a passion of mine to try and spread music such as Creedence, Zepplin, and Skynyrd to my friends and those younger than me. Sure enough, most everyone that hears it and gives them a chance is converted, and one by one, we'll show the younger generation what real music is. Because you know what it isn't? Talentless, studio-manufactured skidmarks like T-Pain (if you're over 30, just look him up on YouTube. You'll see why you should be concerned about what your kids call music). And I'm not capping on the entire rap or hip-hop genre. Some artists still put out real quality stuff (Kanye, T.I.), but now there are so many dime-a-dozen pieces of s*it like Soulja Boy that it sickens me. If you try to explain to an 18 year-old how good someone like Dr. Dre or Tupac was, they just stare at you blankly. I don't understand how you can claim to be a fan of something and not understand it's beginnings and best artists. It'd be like saying you're a basketball fan without having watched Jordan.

The last thing I wanted to say before I sign off for the weekend: Thank a veteran. They deserve both our respect and thanks for the sacrifices they made to make this country great. I'm not going to make some long impassioned plea. Just do the right thing, and say thanks.