What Grinds My Gears

As I sit here in my Introduction to Psychology class, I can't help but get annoyed at all the little freshmen jackasses that sit and ask pointless questions. I don't mind a professor being asked to explain something, but most of the queries being asked by my classmates are easier than Paris Hilton after a bar crawl. So why ask them? To suck up, to get some face time for the douche teaching the class. I hate that. To borrow a phrase from Family Guy, it really grinds my gears. And considering the class is talking about the purpose of the frontal lobes, I figured I might as well make an entry out of this and list some of the things that are grinding my gears this morning.

First off, let me remind you that I like the NFL Draft. When I say that, I mean the two day event, not the 3 month lead-up and oversaturation that we are now dealing with. Even two or three years ago, they didn't start breaking down the draft in detail until about two weeks before it. Now? They have NFL Live segments every day at 2 and 6, the whole time discussing the upside potential of picks, which teams might trade up or down, so on and so forth. And I'm f***ing tired of it. What I'm getting at, as evidenced by this article by Tim Layden, is that the draft (and perhaps the NFL as a whole) has become TOO BIG. There is way too much information and speculation as to where people will go, and it's getting nauseating. Another good indicator that the NFL is way too over-exposed: the two hour special ESPN had when they released the schedule for next year. Do I really need to know the exact date when the Colts and Patriots play six months in advance? Its not like I'm marking it down on my calendar or anything. And if I don't, I'm pretty sure that ESPN and company will remind me when the time comes. So please, can we bring this whole thing down a notch?

Female empowerment songs. Beyonce sings to a guy saying that he should never think he's irreplaceable, Pink sings about how she's not here for our entertainment and that we're not taking her home tonight. Look, we get it, ok? Good for you, you don't need a man, blah blah blah. What these people are doing is making songs for immature 16 year old girls who are probably too ugly or awkward to get a boyfriend. So the girls identify with it, and unfortunately for anyone who has a radio, keep requesting it. Oh, and another thing: Who in the hell would want to take home Pink?

The next generation of kids. I'm 23, which I don't think qualifies me as old, but more and more I feel disconnected with the kids who are currently in high school. Their role models are Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, they live in a culture where they are bombarded with the message that to look appealing you have to dress like a whore, and where sexual promiscuity is encouraged. Look, I thought it was cool when I was 17. But now the envelope is being pushed farther and farther, and at what point do we stop it?

Bo Pelini's job. When is this guy gonna get a head coaching gig? The man has been in charge of some of the most dominant defenses in the country for the past five years, and he's got the attitude and background to be a great head guy somewhere. I realize that his name doesn't have the star quality of Nick Saban, but if Tim Brewster can get the Minnesota job, why can't Bo get something? The man knows his stuff, hell of a coach.

Miller Lite . Congrats Miller, you have half the carbs of Bud Light. I might care about that, but when you drink 15 of them in one night, I don't think it really matters what the nutritional value is. Oh, and did I mention it tastes like ram piss? Yea, cause that's important. I still think the commercial where they are hanging the "World Beer Cup Champion" banner is hilarious, only because there is no way in hell that beer would win anything.

New horror movies. Did anyone else see the preview for the one about the dead ventriloquist who apparently kills people? What the hell do these writers do for story ideas? Throw darts at a board with words on it and fill in the blanks? Do they have an Mad-lib book for horror movies? I don't know what is more pathetic, the fact that these movies keep getting made, or that people are dumb enough to keep going to them.

TBS dropping college football from their programming. Really? What is the reasoning behind this move? Did they buy extra Seinfeld and Friends episodes that they need to show? As the article points out, there weren't always great games on there, but at least it was an option. It was exposure if nothing else. I think this is a bad move, college football ratings will continue to improve, and TBS is dropping the ball by giving up these games. And while I'm on the subject of TBS programming, let me say this: Not everybody loves Raymond. In fact, I hate that show. I hate the brother, I hate the whiny wife. The only character with any redeeming traits is the Dad, who constantly bitches about his wife. I've only met one person who even LIKES that show.....so can we please stop selling this s*it into syndication?

And now, the clip that inspired the rant above: